Operating systems and their automotive spirit animals.

"The Transporter" (transporter)
10/08/2015 at 22:30 • Filed to: None

1. Apple OS X / Tesla Model X

There are practical reasons to get these, but nobody buys them for those reasons. You buy these because they make you feel good. They make you feel good because they make you feel like you are part of an elite community. They make you feel like you are part of an elite community because you have to buy your way in. You buy these because not because they fit your lifestyle, but because you want something to build a lifestyle around.

2. Windows / Ford F-150

They’ve come a long way over the past several decades. Once seen as merely utilitarian, they are now used by almost everybody every day. The current version is even surprisingly economical. If pressed they could be used in practically every role you can think of, though it’s not particularly well suited to all of them. People buy them because they want to use them in any or all of those roles, but mostly people just use them to go shopping. In practical use, they’re really rather ungainly. Rather severely overbuilt unless you’re using it for business purposes. Also, there have been some questions about the strength of the framework they’re built on.

3. Desktop Linux distros / modern kit cars

Nearly infinite variation and customization. Once the providence of a lunatic fringe of enthusiasts - critically underpowered and somewhat dangerous - modern ones can be quite well built and even safer than their professionally built counterparts. There has been a lot of money thrown in to this sector as of late and there are some that might even be used for daily purposes if you’re hard core enough.

4. Apple iOS / Toyota Prius

For those that might want what #1 provides, but either can’t fork over the cash for them or don’t want to uproot their lifestyle to fit around them. They’re also a bit more portable than #1.

5. Google Android / Honda Civic

They were once the choice for enthusiasts, but are now almost exclusively used by people who will take whatever plastic piece of boring that is thrown in front of them simply because it is cheaper. There are still some hardcore enthusiast versions around, but 99.999999999% of those that you see are used solely to get people from point A to point B.

6. Enterprise Linux distros / tractor-trailers

Most people don’t think twice about them, but they practically run this country’s economy. Yes, you can get them to crash, but it will take a lot of brute force or extreme negligence and you probably don’t want to be nearby when that finally happens.